My Idea Of Supporting The Troops

I'll tell you a little story....

When I was growing up I had 3 cousins. 2 of them were terminally ill with Cystic Fibrosis. When I was 6 we left the state that we had all previously lived in and moved a 12 hr drive away. One of my cousins, Travis, was a month a week and a day younger than me. We more or less grew up together and I totally adored him. He was fun and positive and always up to something. He was always in pain but determined to make the most of his life and I came to admire him so much for that. He died when we were 19, Amy who was younger, died 18 months later when she was 15.

At first I was so devestated I couldn't think. Trav died 2 days after Xmas, I was only a couple of days away from heading up to see them. I went through the hating God stage and anger and pain. And then, I remembered the amazingly inspirational person I had been so blessed with for 19 years of my life. The person who was so busy living he defied every time limit the doctors ever put on his life.

I was reminded of this because his father is up visiting us at the moment. Today, he and I went out and indulged our mutual hobby of photography. We spent the late afternoon taking photos of sunsets.

As I was looking out into these sunsets I began to think about the parallels I felt between this part of my life and where I am at right now. We used to visit them every year when we were kids, sometimes twice a year. But somehow, every time you saw them you wondered if it was going to be for the last time. We were always being told we shouldn't think like that, that they could have easily outlived us. Yet somehow, knowing they were ill made you dwell on these things and did make me anxious on more than one occassion.

Almost a year ago now I became involved in Soldiers Angels. Totally by accident, this led me to Tanker Brothers and well, here. I remember stumbling across the SA site and just thinking "Wow, this is something I want to be a part of". The problem I had at that time is I really didn't know what I was supposed to say to the Soldiers. I seriously didn't have a clue. Everybody kept telling me to be myself but I was constantly seeing all these patriotic messages and examples of 'Hero Letters' and just thought "Wow, I just can't write like that". In the end that is what I did. I was myself. I think it is entirely possible alot of the Soldiers I communicate with still don't know how to take me. Oh and by the way, I didn't know your idea of 'mate' and ours was different.

That aside though, this is what I decided on. I thought about Travis and how we used to joke around and just enjoy our time together and thought, this is how I want to be with my Soldiers. I didn't want to be their Angel, I wanted to be their mate (our definition). This is what has happened. I am often up at night with the Soldiers online and we chat like old friends. None of it is awkward, there are never moments of silence. They spend as much time listening to my problems as I do theirs because we are friends and friends share these things.

That is my idea of support. That is how I choose to support the Soldiers. By being their friend.

I've been mulling this over because of a recent 'debate' on ASM in the comments section of a post by Terri on Troop Deployment Extensions. A woman had commented that she 'Supports the Troops but not the War'. How many times have we heard this??

On so many occassions we have pointed out on TB how these people 'Support the Troops'. By waving banners and protesting to bring them home. I still can not for the life of me understand how that is supporting the Troops. Do these people think the Troops all sit glued to a TV in Iraq watching their protests on the news and cheering, happy that these people are doing this for them?? No, I don't think so.

Every day these men and women live under a cloud of doubt. They go about their missions and daily tasks wondering if they will make it online that night to speak with friends and loved ones or get to read or send one more letter or make or recieve one more phone call. Often the first words I hear are "I made it" or "I'm still alive". While they go about their day, those of us who love and support them wonder how they are both mentally and physically. It is hard and demanding and certainly not something you can be half hearted about. When you can support someone but not what they do you are half hearted at best. When you are living in a high stress situation who needs half hearted??

Soldiers do not choose who they will defend or on what terms. They carry out their missions regardless of personal opinion. Now, I am by no means saying that we should be blindly supporting them regardless of our views. What I do think though is that people who can say they support the Troops, then negate their efforts in the next breath, really have no right to call what they do support. Ever heard the term 'Shit or get off the pot'?? Either you do or you don't you have to make a decision.

They whole heartedly defend us, I think the least we can do is whole heartedly support them in their efforts.

A_C